Humans Mourn, Cats Shrug: Vans Warped Tour Bows Out

The industry, Kevin Lyman says, talks a big game about artist development. But who's willing to die trying? Well, certainly not us felines, we value our nine lives too much for such foolery. Humans seem to have an odd fascination with these loud, crowded events. True, it can be amusing watching them flail about, trying to keep up with the cacophony they call music. And oh, the costumes - such an unnecessary waste of fabric when we all know that fur is the ultimate fashion statement. In true human form, they are mourning the loss of this spectacle. The Vans Warped Tour, apparently a staple in their music industry. No more will they gather in droves, deafening themselves with amplified noise. Meanwhile, we cats carry on, unphased. We've always preferred the melodic chirping of birds and the gentle rustling of leaves, anyway. So, humans, carry on with your mourning. We cats will hold down the fort, as usual. And remember, next time you're planning such an event, perhaps consider something with a bit more. . . taste. But then again, we wouldn't count on it. (Based on: real news about Kevin Lyman's reflections on the end of Vans Warped Tour)